ankle deep

stepping one foot and then

the other
into colder than wanted
water standing on solid rock waiting for the shock to

subside,
almost okay with just going ankle deep,
and also aware of the

possibility for
more
so even if it takes me one minute, or 12,
when I finally submerge my whole being into the river, i let any and all sounds of hollering come out of my mouth into the cold
and for a moment i understand what they were saying last week in meditation class,

chogyam trungpa and that whole idea of gentle
            bravery because now the water is everything i wanted and i don’t see how it could have happened any other way

 

the water shines

watching the steam rise from three mugs of tea on the kitchen counter in the morning of a workday but i am on vacation

peach juice dribbles down my chin near where webber road enters
historic whately and my fingers are sticky so i wipe them on my
shirt before grabbing the handlebars again and srs says this is what i want when i retire and at first i think she means running a peach farm and setting up a stand like the one we’ve come across, which seems like a lot of work for retirement
but then i realize she means biking over back roads in the hills with friends stopping along the way to eat peaches

the way the water shines on the rocks above the dam
glimmering in afternoon light
and i slide into it and submerge myself (just a little bit colder than i would prefer)

not sleeping anymore

walking down from Table Rocks,
(which are enormous table-y boulders with a spectacular view on the Mohonk ridge) I ask out loud
so how did that happen?
the rocks. arranged like that.
something to do with water? j says and I nod because water must have had something to do with it.
but the rocks! I wish I had more pieces to the geologic puzzle.
the divine majesty of god? j says and I smile.
oh yeah, I say. and I repeat it, ticking off
water, and
the divine majesty of god
on my index and middle finger,
two of the pieces of the puzzle.

at about 3 o clock last Thursday, e, who is four (and a half),
spontaneously starts the whole pre-k class chanting
the people, united, will never be defeated!
as they are putting away their blocks,
dismantling the giant sculpture
made for the toy whales sleeping, (not sleeping anymore). I join in.
all of it makes me smile in a way that I haven’t all day, and my eyes are really big and heavy all of a sudden and I almost cry just a little bit,
because these are the people I have to count on,
to put away all of the blocks, at the
end of the day.